This blog here may be a lil offensive so i advise u to take ur "stick in the mud arse" outta here. This isnt for ppl that left their humor back in their childhood.
A good & humorous friend of mine name Fat Sheisty & I was brainstorming on the train from 59th st xpress to 125th st. about this blog we read in our jobs newspaper. It was TRYIN to dice out the different types of honeyholes! The blog was from a lame i bet was Captain of the chess club & is a major playa in the Star Wars & Star Trek convention circuit. This here is how life really is from my point of view wit a lil of my type of spin to it. Sooooo my 360 comrades (being that yall mostly women) im here to enlighten & entertain yall wit some facts on how SOME of us men categorize the different types of poonany! I also have 4 more but thats for another day!
Poonany Types!
1. Expensive Pussy
Most pussy falls into this definition. Expensive Pussy can be recognized by the following - fur coats, Vera Wang dresses, Gucci "Genius Jeans", Evisu "Worker Jean Shorts", and shirts with greek letters on them. 98% of good pussy falls into this category.
Advantages: If you can afford it, it will be great.
Disadvantages: Many, mostly in the form of checking account depletion. After the break up u usually find urself livin in your car under a bridge with a serious masturbation habit! Often not worth it.
2. Cheap Pussy
Very rare. Usually comes in the form of a girlfriend of yours who will not go away no matter what you do. Cheap Pussy can be recognized by the following - she will often pay for dinner, understands when you are broke, calls every day, wants it constantly, easily hurt, but shake it off.
Advantages: Inexpensive, guaranteed, loving, will try anything once and sometimes twice. You're lucky if you find this.
Disadvantages: Won't go away, possessive, bugs you all the time, can keep you from the tasks of finding other pussy, will eventually want to get married and/or have children soon thus ruining it. Often not worth it.
3. Hired Pussy
Found in the Hollywood area of Southern California or Times Square and in every other large city in the US and abroad. Recognized by scanty clothes and come-hither looks. Expense varies greatly with the quality. The difference between Hired Pussy and Expensive Pussy is that the money is up-front.
Advantages: You don't have to stick around, won't tell your girlfriend, doesn't care who you are or what you look like, often very experienced, usually cheaper than Expensive Pussy.
Disadvantages: More expensive than Cheap Pussy in the long run, risk of disease is high, is illegal in most areas and the risk of jail time is high. Make sure u have a trusted friend that will have ur bail money for you when that police officer knocks on your foggy car window! Often not worth it.
4. Virgin Pussy
This type is getting rarer each day. Recognized by conservative clothes, good manners, and a marked distaste for dirty jokes and porno movies. Can be very loving if you promise marriage, but will cause you more problems as you go along. Frustration level is high as Virgin Pussy tends to want to stay that way for some unknown reason.
Advantages: Risk of disease is very low, will offer a very tight "fit" if it gives in, sometimes open to new experience, will often offer "other" services if Virginity is to be maintained.
Disadvantages: Usually will not give in until "marriage", will cause discomfort upon use, not very imaginative, not usually into using birth control which can cause "accidents", can only be used once. U might get stalked & frequent "I miss you baby" messages on your cell phone or answering machine. Usually not worth it unless you're into that sort of thing.
5. Nympho Pussy
Very rare. Recognized by the tendency to drag you by your hacky sacks into bed and going at it to the point of exhaustion Very experienced, will teach you things you never knew. Expense varies depending on level of Nymphomania.
Advantages: Will send you into la-la land, unbendable smile & will try anything once.
Disadvantages: You are probably not the only one, thus disease risk can be high, will tire you out and ask for more, can be unstable, will not give a steady relationship. Will have you frequently callin her & harassing her to the point of stalking. You would frequently hear "Mr.So & So PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD & KNEEL ON THE GROUND"!!! Often not worth it. *SMH*
 | I've had each of those pussies. I can't pick a favorite one though. I think i'm gonna have to sample them all again.... |
 | very informative!!! two thumbs up! |
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